*Er...just read it*

Life, Build 1, (3/1/6,000,000,000 BC)
Welcome to life!

Alarm Clock casts Sleep Ineptitude Other VI on you
You say, "Zojack Snoozeth"
Alarm Clock resists your spell
You say, "Zojack Snoozeth"
The sound of you smashing Alarm Clock is followed by the Deafening Silence of Snooze!
The spell Restfull Sleep Self IV has expired
You cast Aquafresh III on Toothbrush
Toothbrush casts Minty Breath II on you
Reading Cookbook
You cannot understand this Scroll.
Floofy Chef's Hat cast Cooking Mastery I on you
You fail to make pancakes
You fail to make pancakes
You fail to make pancakes
Your Cooking Skill is now 19!
You make Pancakes
The Pancakes satisfy 8 points of your hunger
Attempting to Clean Kitchen
You are not trained in that skill
Picking up Keys
Equiping Office Attire
Using Keys with Car
That key doesn't fit this lock
That key doesn't fit this lock
You hear a Rumbling noise
Hot Babe on Sidewalk cast Feeblemind Other VI on you
Hot Babe on Sidewalk cast Bafflement Other VI on you
Telephone Pole bashes you for 72 points of Bludgeoning Damage!
EMS Nurse heals you for 22
EMS Nurse heals you for 34
EMS Nurse fails to heal you
EMS Nurse heals you for 16
Police Officer drains $180 of your Funds with Trafic Violation VI
Downloading Work 124/645
You combine the two Referendums into a larger Statment
You combine the two Statements into a larger Report
You combine the two Reports into a larger Presentation
You fail to give the presentation. Your boss snaps as a result.
Angry Boss casts Self Esteem Ineptitude Other VI on you
Angry Boss casts Unenployment Other V on you
Blistered by Angry Boss' rage, you're Fired!
You've lost your job, your 401k, and your Cubicle!
You sear Angry Boss for 1 point of shock with Middle Finger III!
+Security Officer has Teleported you
The Door is already Open!
The Beer restores 7 points of
your desire to live
The Beer restores 7 points of your desire to live
The Beer restores 7 points of your desire to live
The Beer restores 7 points of your desire to live
The Beer restores 7 points of your desire to live
You're too drunk to do that!

Lost server connection

Life, Build 1, (3/1/6,000,000,000 BC)
Welcome to life!
Your Mutual Funds have gathered interest for you. Taking into account your skills as a broker, you gain $1.30

The Bars are Locked
The Bars are Locked
Big Ugly Dude tried and failed to assess you!
Scary Hulk tried and failed to assess you!
Dude with Scars tried and failed to assess you!
You cry.
Police officer has granted you a respite after your moment of weakness. You are temporarily no longer a prisoner.
Your telephone call has been used up
Wife tells you, "Hello?"
You tell Wife, "You're not going to believe this..."

-Metellus Cimber
(©)
[p]