This patch: CD players and all-weather r

So I called Ford the other day and asked them when they intended to install the latest patch to my Gruntmobile. Can you believe it? They just laughed. "I have been waiting for years to get the engine upgraded to a 6 cylinder and the radio that came with the original product doesn't even have a tape deck!"

"You have to pay for the upgrades," they said.

I guess I'm spoiled. Having played AC1 for 3 years, I got used to a continually improving product. The fact is those Tubinites never missed a month once. Don't they ever get sick? Go on vacations? What the heck is wrong with these people? I mean, for the price you pay to subscribe to any other online game, you get a new episode to the story (That's the way Jules Verne originally told "Around the World in Eighty Days") and repairs, additions, and maintenance to the dynamics and existing content. These days AC1 looks drastically different than it did on day 1. And I mean drastically. Let's take a look at the first year of AC1:

Armor: In the very first month we saw the Hoary Mattekar Robe. The second month brought us Celdon, Amuli, and Koujia armor. Master's Robes soon made an appearance as well. Later came quest armor, like the shadow hunter armor, and shields.

Weapons: Month three brought us Atlan weapons. Over the course of the year we also saw Hamud's Katar, the hollow weapons, the crystalline weapons, composite bows, swordstaves and tridents, and more.

Monsters: Ursuin and Niffis appeared about halfway through the first year. The Virindi created their hollow minions for the first time as well. New golems and floating crystals arrived to terrorize the adolescent adventurers. The Veseyan archipelago and Aerlinthe held a whole host of new critters to hunt. We also saw the spawns change several times, the Direlands becoming more dire and the shadows swarming everywhere for a while.

Quests: So many to count, I don't know where to begin, except perhaps the first great quest to be added: Frore. We also saw Hamud's Katar, the Crystal dungeons (like Fenmalain and the Nexus), Aerlinthe, and lots, lots, lots more!

Towns: Two towns bit the dust (both were rebuilt) and FOUR new ones sprung up out of nothing. Town criers were introduced to shout out the latest news and outposts (like Crater Town) received some stubbornly silent residents.

Environment: Both Aerlinthe and the Veseyan Archipelago were added within the first year. There was also the gauntlet island for monarchs to run (now anyone can go there), were they chosen. Dereth was already a huge place to explore and not even twelve months passed before we had even more to wander around in. Other changes occurred such as the Arwic and Tufa craters, the Obsidian Span, winter, spring, summer, fall, and of course the shadow spires that made us all wonder...until it was too late.

Crafting: New recipes abounded in the first year, such as pumpkin pie and chocolate bars. We also saw the addition of dyes for both cooks and alchemists to play with.

Fun stuff: Dresses, halloween masks, flaming pumpkins, snowballs and evil snowmen (plus the giant one at 0N, 0E), Ulgrim's sayings, Scarecrows, player lore (*beam*), thrown dishes...need I say more?

Gameplay: New war spells were added (rings and walls and streaks) and other spells to the rest of the magic schools for negating enchantments. Hollow weapons and shadow hunter armor allowed meleers a slightly better chance in PvP. Secure trading (not existant at release) was added.

Story: Sir Tremblant disappeared, as did Martine later, and the shadows swarmed over the landscape. Bael'Zharon slowly was released from his prison and we learned the selfish deeds of the undead. An Olthoi Queen was hinted to still exist...

I know, I don't do it justice, but if you're new to the AC franchise, it might be impressive (not as much as it actually was), especially considering all this came with your monthly subscription fee. It was a great time to play because no game ever accomplished so much for its players. Story, silliness, improvements, fixes, more things to do and more places to go and better ways to do it. And that was only the first year! Two more content-filled years followed, making AC players the most spoiled of any game-players ever.

On Wednesday, we truly begin our journey through the ever-changing world of Dereth. Things are going to change. I only wish other companies knew to treat their products and their customers so well. My car needs a CD player and the monthly updates for it seem to have all dried up...

Gurog Grunts appears every Monday here on AC2 Warcry. The opinions expressed here belong to the gruntmaster himself, Theiss. If you wish to grunt about his grunts, grunt to Theiss at editor@warcry.com. If you find my sense of humor, pease e-mail it to me. I seem to have misplaced it.