The Jungle's Call

Ahhh, real life, enemy of the video game. Do you remember real life? Long before your spiraled descent into the dark underworld of gaming you had a place there in the real world. Every once in a while it creeps back in, doesn't it? Those beams of sunlight sneak through the slats in your persistently closed blinds. Maybe a telemarketer calls or your mom/wife/roommate yells into that shreth cave you've built that dinner is ready. Ahhh, real life, it took me back for a while but I have returned!

A game like AC2 is just as hard to come back to as it is to leave, I've found. The momentum you gain from doing other things takes you away from gaming, not towards it. You stop thinking about it, stop wondering what is going on in the world of Dereth today. That is, until gaming makes a push to get back into your life. It is a constant battle over your soul. Life versus games.

Case in point: I was walking down Main Street the other day. No, we don't really have a street called Main Street where I live. I'm just trying to keep the hordes of angry gamers and lusting supermodels from disturbing my peaceful, anonymous existence. So, anyways, I was walking down Main Street when I heard a noise.

"Psst."

"Hoowah!" I said, leaping into my pseudo-kung fu stance of readiness.

"Hey, buddy," she said, stepping half out of the shadows.

She was wearing a dark gray trench coat, a cigarette smoldering between the fingers of her right hand. I squinted into the alley but couldn't make out her face. A broad-brimmed hat obscured part of her face.

"Who are you?" I said.

"You can call me Jade," she said with a whisper. "Are you The Iss?"

"Uh, the what?"

"Iss"

I dropped my clenched fists (lethal weapons, they are) and stepped back. "Tay-iss, you mean?"

"Whatever. You can't expect people to pronounce that idiotic name right."

"No one has called me that for some time," I said. "Who are you really, Jade? Nika? Cat? Shiver?"

She took a drag and coughed uncontrollably for several minutes. "Ahem. No, I'm not one of your friends," she said, dropping the cigarette and crushing it with her foot. "I'm no one of any importance."

I admit, I was confused. She didn't seem like the typical lusting supermodel. Even if she was, it didn't explain why she was hiding in a dark alley waiting for me and knew me by my pseudonym. "...." I opened my mouth but found nothing to say.

"Asheron's Call 2 needs you Theiss."

"What?"

"Come back to Dereth."

"I still have my subscription, Jadeorwhoeveryouare."

"Yes, but you aren't playing it now are you?"

"Um," I said, "No. I've had to deal with some things in real life..."

She hissed and stepped back into the shadows making me jump back into Karate Kid mode again. "Theiss," she growled.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Come back to Dereth. Heroes, new monsters, new quests, treasure, fun to be had. It is where you belong."

"Sure," I said. "Sounds great. I'll be back playing soon enough."

"No," she hissed. "We need you now."

"Ooookaaaaay," I said tentatively. Anything to get this crazy woman away from me. "Maybe I can afford to log in tomorrow."

"That is all we ask," she said, satisfaction in her voice. "Thank you for your time."

"Wait," I said as she walked away. She stopped, turning so that I could see her profile against the alley wall. "Do you have a last name, Jade?"

"Dragonfly, if you must know."

Then she was gone.

Of course, the story doesn't end there. Gaming has won the battle for now. But summer is here and real life calls strongest during these times. The battle between real life and gaming will no doubt continue. It will be the same with you as well, I'm sure. Everyone once in a while you hear the jungle call of your ancient ancestors urging you to get off your lazy fat butt and walk down to the 7-11 for a Slurpee and a 99 cent hot dog. Yes, real life has a mysterious grip on us. They don't need a strange woman in a dark alley to call us back, though that can be pretty effective too.

Gurog Grunts appears every other Wednesday here on AC2 Warcry. The opinions expressed here belong to the gruntmaster himself, Theiss. If you wish to grunt about his grunts, grunt to Theiss at editor@warcry.com. grunt grunt slurpee grunt