State of My Sanity #1
How dedicated is this? Neither sleet, nor rain, nor influenza shall keep me from my column. Unfortunately for you, you've chosen to read my hallucination induced drivel. That said, I obligingly provide you with the State of My Sanity #1:
You know you are not all there when influenza has you in such a tight grip that you have no desire to eat, play AC2, and think it would be a great idea to watch The Island of Dr. Moreau (after reading the H.G. Wells classic). Yes, I was struck with that nasty little bug on Saturday, effectively crippling me for a full 24 hours. I have since regained my senses, partially from the slap I received by watching a bunch of hideous clowns prancing around a tropical island.
During my sanity's downtime I took the opportunity to interview myself. Partly this was because I haven't found anyone else to interview yet but partly because there isn't much else to do when paralyzed by microorganisms. The following is the conversation that took place:
Q: Did you just see that shreth run across the screen? Man, he was moving fast.
A: Those are your eyelids, dummy.
Q: What would you be doing right now if you were in-game?
A: Ugh, don't talk about food.
Q: I didn't say anything about food.
A: Was that a question?
Q: No, but that was.
A: Who is interviewing whom here?
Q: Oh, look at you, Mr. Grammar. "Whom." I'm SO impressed.
A: Are you really going to use this interview?
Q: Don't try to dodge the question! The people have a right to know!
A: ...
Q: This isn't going quite as well as I'd hoped.
A: Oh man, I said don't talk about food.
Q: Wanna watch Moreau now?
A: Sounds like a great idea.
It probably wasn't the best time to catch myself for an interview now that I think about it. However, it does give an insightful look into the problems behind AC2, namely the players. If the rest of you are half as crazy as I am, then what Turbine really needs are a team of psychologists on hand and should seriously consider including a CD featuring the calming songs of the blue whale with each purchase. This would bring us strides closer to having a game we could all enjoy along with some calm whale songs to boot.
Maybe that is just my fever and enthusiasm for whale songs speaking. Maybe a few tweaks here and there will make the world of Aubearan a much better place to be. Call me crazy (I already did) but I'm willing to bet that no matter the content they add, the story they tell, they macros they ban, there will always be people out there causing mischief. And dancing around in 20 pounds of makeup on tropical islands. As much as we don't want those things they will continue to exist, though.
The conclusion I've come to is that I can only make the world of Auberean a better place by trying to be a better person myself (oh yeah, I think the medication is kicking in!) That is, griping and whining and hating all make the world a little less fun of a place to be. How ironic, you might say. You are whining about the whiners. Am not! Besides, there will always be whiners. This is a lesson I learned myself that my feverish state has prodded me to share. What I meant was that if you want the things to be better than they are, do what you can yourself. Expecting others to fix things for you will leave you as miserable as influenza does.
Preach on, brotha-man! you shout sarcastically. Well, you have SOME nerve! I mean, hey, gimme a break. I'm sick as a shreth. You can't expect me to fix all the world's problems until tomorrow.
Gurog Grunts appears every Monday here on AC2 Warcry. The opinions expressed here belong to the gruntmaster himself, Theiss. If you wish to grunt about his grunts, grunt to Theiss at editor@warcry.com. *peers into the empty depths of his inbox* Hello? lo? o?
