Interview with an Elvish Lugian

Here at Gurog Grunts we try to bring to you, the reader, the fine quality reporting you find in many other columns and news items here on Warcry or Airport CNN. I used my connections over the holidays to finally sit down and interview the one you're all been clamoring to hear from: My brother, Quintus. Of course, it required a headlock and several noogies to get him to agree to the interview but sometimes that is what it takes. I'm told that is how Larry King convinces half of his guests to appear on his program. Barbara Walters uses wedgies (that's why they are always crying).

So, without further ado, I present the answers to the questions you've wanted to ask him yourselves. Here is my brother at his finest!

Gurog Grunts: First question: It's your fault I got hooked on AC in the first place.

Quintus: Oh sure. Blame the drug dealer because you got hooked on drugs... well, no... it's more like blaming the friend who knew the drug dealer and said he was cool. Hey, wait, that wasn't a question.

Quintus: *fidgets uncomfortably*

Gurog Grunts: So you don't deny that you've ruined your own brother's life with this horrible addiction?

Quintus: I accept full responsibility and, as a result, will not run for re-election.

(Ed. Note: The term for younger brothers is about 320 years. ~ Theiss :- )

Gurog Grunts: About AC2, you play a lugian, correct?

Quintus: Incorrect. Given that AC2 does not allow me to play as the bestest race ever, Elves, I am forced to improvise. My character is an Elf trapped inside a Lugian's body. That's why he wears pink.

Coincidentally, he acts and talks like a normal Lugian so you could never tell the difference.

Gurog Grunts: Very interesting. Having never met a Lugian or Elf in real life myself, I am curious: How do you get into character when you play?

Quintus: I get into my character the way most people do. I hit the Play button.

Har har. *dodges Lugian boulders*

Gurog Grunts: *stares dumbly*

Quintus: Is this thing on? *tap tap*

Gurog Grunts: So, anyways...what was it that made you decide to make the switch from AC1 when retail rolled around?

Quintus: The final straw was when my house defaulted and I lost my pack doll Grievvy the Drug Prevention Grievver. He worked tirelessly all across Osteth, educating the populace about the dangers of strange herbs found on corpses. I can still hear him saying, "Winners Don't Do Hyssop". I had to go somewhere where I wouldn't see another grievver again.

Plus, I hate mites.

Gurog Grunts: Yes, Grievvy was truly...whatever. So are you looking forward to anything in particular in the January patch?

Quintus: Honestly, I don't know what's coming out in the patch. It's called Cacophony so I guess all of our instruments are going to go out of tune and we have to quest for a new set of lute strings or Dereth will be destroyed. Man, that's going to be an awesome quest.

Gurog Grunts: Yeah...I bet. We are talking about AC2, right?

Quintus: I hope so. If not, I'm going to look really silly.

(Ed. Note: I don't think the topic of this discussion will be the deciding factor for that. ~ Theiss)

Gurog Grunts: If you could meet the developers themselves, what would you like to say to them?

Quintus: I'd say thanks. Thanks for being the only company to ever send me a rejection letter. I hope to get another one soon.

Gurog Grunts: Final question: I want my CDs back! I know you took them!

Quintus: Like I told you before. You can have your CDs back when you agree that it's pronounced 'Duh-RETH'. I don't care what those movies said!

Gurog Grunts: Thanks for the interview.

Gurog Grunts: Twerp.

You can only imagine what an entire week with my family must be like. A fifteen minute interview really doesn't do them justice. I tried to get my mom into a headlock but being older and wiser, she consistently turned the tables on me. Consequently, you can read her interview of me in the next issue of the official American Contract Bridge League magazine.

Thanks for tuning in! In the words of the late Grievvy, "Winners don't do hyssop!" Peace.

Gurog Grunts appears every Monday here on AC2 Warcry. The opinions expressed here belong to the gruntmaster himself, Theiss. If you wish to grunt about his grunts, grunt to Theiss at editor@warcry.com. Yes, I will interview you too, sans headlock. You can contact me in-game as Theiss@Wintersebb!