Adopt-an-AC2-player

Hiya readers and welcome back to GG once again. I know, I know. For those keeping score at home, this is another column posted late. I would have gotten it up last week but I got...um...stuck...in a Russian submarine...filled with...wild...monkeys. Yeah.

And if you believe that, you'll really dig what I've got for you this week. I recently went to the SPCA and got myself a cute little AC2 player. I thought, hey, why not? Then I'll know what it is like to be a Dev! That's right, adopt-a-player for only 75 bucks. They come spayed or neutered with a few vaccinations (don't want them getting fanboitis) and microchipped so when they run away you can get them back again!

Let me tell you, adopting an AC2 player is tough work. First of all, it was tough picking one out because they all wanted to play for free. One in particular seemed to respond to me more than the others, though, so with a swift swipe of the debit card I was carting home my very own gamer.

The first thing to do, I was told, was to block off the littler MOG'er in the lower level areas so they could become familiar with my game. After that, I could open up other areas to her slowly. This is because a sudden introduction to a vast, unfamiliar game might lead the littler MOG'er to stop eating and sleeping then become stressed and sick.

Well, I did as instructed and left her to familiarize herself with the first area of my game. It was very difficult because she cried a lot at first. Unfortunately the next area for her to explore wasn't ready yet and I had to clean it up before I could open it up for her.

Plus I wanted to go see a movie.

The second area had much more content for her, including a scratching quest, some ball creatures, of the tennis and paper varieties, and a miniature Pookie. Well, this seemed to satisfy my little gamer a little more as she got the chance to explore new lands and battle with new creatures.

Yet, when there wasn't a developer within sight, my little gamer would cry incessantly. She turned out to be a very demanding gamer. And a little psychotic at times. When I would come in to watch her play (they are so cute when they are having fun!) she would jump up and scurry away. 'Why was she afraid of the dev?' I thought. I hadn't even started nerfing yet. But once I was around a little, she would cozy up to me, even climbing into my lap and purring. Sure enough, though, as soon as I wasn't around again she would start back to crying. I think these little gamers need a dedicated dev around them 24/7 or something.

There are a couple more things to consider if you use this column as a reference for adopting your own little AC2 player. The SPCA requires that you take them to get a checkup within two weeks of adopting them. That can be a real adventure in itself. It turns out gamers don't like being stuck in a little crate (go figure) and DEFINITELY don't like getting their temperature taken. If it turns out that they need to be nerfed, they really struggle and cry when it comes time to give them their medicine.

Also, you should decide in advance whether your game will have a level cap or whether they can explore beyond your initially designed levels. In fact, the SPCA asks you this befor eyou adopt. I have chosen to cap the levels for my little gamer (for various reasons) but I am currently still opening up new areas for her to explore all the time.

Finally, a word of caution. AC2 players can be a destructive pet to keep. They have sharp claws and teeth and when they want to use them, they can sure sting. A brand new MOG'er can be extremely messy at times, occasionally breaking your game or sneaking into unfinished levels. Don't let all the destruction and mess and stinkiness (yes, that first week can be stinky while they adapt to a new diet) get to you. Having your own gamer can be a very rewarding experience. To anyone considering it, look into it further. You won't regret it.

Gurog Grunts appears every other Wednesday here on AC2 Warcry. The opinions expressed here belong to the gruntmaster himself, Theiss. If you wish to grunt about his grunts, grunt to Theiss at editor@warcry.com. A cat. I got a kitten, okay? Sheesh.