Mining the Possibilities

Ahh, Nepeth. There's nothing like the Nepeth Strata in winter. Unless of course, it's Nepeth in the summer. Cold. Grey. Unending. But, it's not the cold, it's the humidity that'll kill you. And the waraths.

It's not that I hate waraths. They have as much right to roam around the wilds of Nepeth as any of us. I just wish they'd do a little more roaming and a little less rampaging. Of course, I wish I was doing a little less roaming.

As I told you, I've been doing a lot of mining. And to be honest, I'm not the best cartographer. My maps tend to look a lot more like toddler drawings than maps. Actually, getting a two-year old to draw the map for me might be a step up. I like to think of this as a learning stage though. And I'm stubborn and refuse to get someone else to draw me a map. So, I see a lot of the countryside. I take the scenic route. I enjoy the great outdoors. I get lost. A lot.

But there is a silver lining. See, I've always been a jack of all trades, master of none. Lately though, I've found a real proficiency, an expertise, if you will. I can draw maps that lead to waraths. I draw up an iron vein map, or a stone quarry map, or even a map to the other end of the allegiance hall, it doesn't matter. It always leads to a warath. Now, most people would see this as a curse, but I see it as a whole new business enterprise. Corren's Warath Safaris! I've gotta get the word out to the Town Criers.

"Coming soon!" they'll shout, "A whole new hunting experience! City life have you down? Sick of killing endless swarms of olthoi? Come enjoy the wilds of Nepeth on a guided hunt of the legendary warath. Contact Corren's Warath Safaris today to reserve your spot on our next thrilling hunt!"

Maybe if I could get a hold of a small Menhir Shard I could make a sort of vision of the experience. Imagine it. First, there'd be a vision of a lovely ranger swimming in a lake near Kehan. I know just the place. And then there'd be some scrawny little defender fighting a warath, or maybe being eaten by the warath. Yes, eaten by the warath.

Then I'd step in and say something like, "G'day there mate, looks like yer havin' a bit o' trouble."

(That's the way they talk in Nepeth, you know.)

And then of course, the warath would put the little defender down, and I'd hit him (the warath, not the defender - though that might work too) once or twice with my swords and he'd fall over dead. Maybe already stuffed. In fact we might need to use a stuffed one anyway, 'cause I haven't seen too many trained waraths around lately. Anyway, I'd put my foot down on the thing's head and say something in a thick Nepethian accent, like, "Tha's a real beauty. Magnificent plumage!"

Do waraths have plumage? They seem to be mostly teeth, and claws. Maybe I'll just stick with the beauty part.

Where was I? Oh, yes, foot on warath's head.

So then of course, the defender will need do some sort of hero worship. We'll get someone with a really squeaky voice - something a little annoying, but not too bad. Like Pelloran - he'd be perfect. What a whiner. How does someone like that become a factotum? I guess Whitebay isn't the boomtown it used to be, but Gallus hangs out there, and he's pretty cool. For a lugian. I mean, I have his autograph, and it's pretty cool.

Anyway, after Pelloran grovels for a bit, the hot ranger will come up out of the water and say, in a really sultry voice, "Corren's Warath Safaris, reserve your spot today."

Now of course, there'll need to be some sort of legal disclaimer. After all, I can't be held responsible if a warath rips some hapless hunter in two, or lodges a chunk of rock in his midsection, or chases him halfway across the Nepeth Strata just to pick him up and hurl him across the other half. But those are just some of the risks - the thrills, of hunting the elusive warath. Brought to you only by Corren's Warath Safaris!

I think I'm onto something. Now if I could just do something about the humidity.