Crazy for You

Well, Corren's Warath Safaris is a real success. And by success, I mean, I'm breaking even. And by breaking even, I mean, at least I'm not the one getting killed by the waraths.

I'm letting Pelloran handle the safaris for now. It turns out that he's a factotum for a very good reason, despite the annoying voice and the incessant whining, he's really quite knowledgeable about the land and the politics of the area. He's no Moose Rickenson, but then, who is?

I should mention though, that despite all his posturing, Moose is really a pretty down to earth guy. He puts his pants on one leg at a time. I mean, he really knows his dillo bells, so can you blame him for being proud of it? I can barely make a dillo scrub brush, so the fact that he can make a musical instrument out of pair of reaper horns? He's probably the type that could make a boat out of a couple of Burun staffs and some lasher whiskers.

You know someone else that's pretty good with his hands? Ludward. Have you seen some of the things he comes up with? Now of course, he's crazy. But it's not as if he's the only guy hanging around Dereth that is. Some of Dereth's inhabitants are so crazy that even after a couple hundred years of being dead, they're still crazy!

Take, for instance, Rashan Twoblades. Now, as a fellow bounty hunter, I have to give him some deference. I mean, he's pretty much my idol in terms of fighting prowess - well, him and Gallus. Now that'd be a dream match up. Gallus versus Rashan. You know who else would be fun to watch fight? Nalicana and Garaena. Without magic.

Or how 'bout the Drudge Recluse versus Lodrog. I mean, sure Lodrog's like ten times as big as the Recluse. But the Recluse has been living out near the Citadel for ages. He probably has all kinds of tricks up his sleeves. Plus, Lodrog is outright bonkers. Always looking for bones and scraps of old parchment. I mean, how many times can you look at a Revenant leg bone? It's a bone. He should really think about going to a therapist. I'd send him to mine, but ever since I stabbed her, she's been a little touchy. I doubt she'd take the sudden appearance of a hulking Gurog lore keeper as a sign of good will.

Anyway, Rashan is crazy. Probably not as crazy as Thorsten Cragstone. I mean, the guy wears bright red boots. If that's not crazy, I don't know what is. Plus, look at the city named after the guy. See what I mean? Now, I don't know who Lenny Ondekodo was, but from looking at his city: not crazy. Shi Hakata? Crazy. Aun Ankoro? Also crazy. Emma Shoushi? Well, maybe not crazy. But where was the tourism board when they put up those portals on the other side of the canyon? Speaking of tourism, someone needs to find Winifred Rithwic and tell her what has become of her city. If she isn't crazy now, when she finds out what's happened with her little resort town, she will be.

So in conclusion: Contact Pelloran and set up your very own Warath Safari today. You'd be crazy not to.